An unpleasant feeling

Jealousy isn't a nice feeling, and it's not something I have usually felt... but it pops up more often these days than I'd like to admit.

I'm jealous of parents who confidently talk about their children's future.. 'we'll save that photo for her 18th!',... 'he's definitely going to be a rugby player'... 'when she's at school she will...'.

I'm jealous of Mums I meet who say they've never heard of Edward's Syndrome. Who must have been so confident in their pregnancy that they didn't even absorb the leaflet about it when they were screened for it (along with Down and Patau Syndromes) at 12 weeks.

Of parents..

who can relate to the other parents with babies the same age

who got chubby cheeks and arm rolls

who complain about having to buy more clothes every month- they grow so fast

who have never had to look up the cost of a baby coffin or think about where to lay their child to rest

who worry about which nursery to send their baby to

who can go back to work (if they want to)

who get to sleep in the same room as their partner

who get to sleep!

who don't have to defend their child's rights to medical treatment, to healthcare, to life

who don't wonder if every time might be the only time, or the last time.

(But I'm also not jealous, because I wouldn't want anyone but her!)